Ah, perms — that glorious mix of confidence, curls, and chaos. Whether it’s a fresh salon experiment or a nod to 80s nostalgia, perms always make an impression. And let’s be honest: when your friend shows up rocking that bouncy, spirally masterpiece, it’s impossible not to crack a few jokes. Funny Roasts for Someone With a Perm.
If your friend just got a perm, it’s hard not to notice that curly bounce that’s giving off major poodle vibes—like they just stepped out of a salon with rollers still in. I remember once teasing my own friend whose hair looked like it had been plugged into a light socket after a wild dryer session. We couldn’t stop laughing at how her tiny springs of curls had more volume than a 1980s rock band on tour.
She was totally rocking that look, though—part fashion, part retro hairstyle, and all funny charm. It became one of our favorite inside jokes, full of banter, laughter, and those friendly, witty one-liners that make everyone chuckle.
The best roasts are playful, never hurtful—a mix of humor, style, and good personality. Think of hilarious moments when your hairstylist becomes a magician, turning straight hair into spirals with hairspray, curling, and maybe a bit of pizzazz from a disco night. From poodles to noodles, from spaghetti strands to coiled cords, these comparisons are all in light-hearted fun.
As a comedian once said, “Every perm tells a story.” And whether that story includes a wind tunnel, a bank account worth of hair products, or just the confidence to embrace your new style, the result is pure entertaining, quirky brilliance that deserves its own round of applause—and maybe an ovation from your crew at the next party.
1. “You look like your head lost a fight with a curling iron.”
Best Use: When your friend’s perm looks a little too enthusiastic.
Not To Use: If they seem self-conscious about their hair.
Other Ways To Say:
- “That perm’s got more drama than a soap opera.”
- “Your curls have their own personality.”
Example: “Girl, that perm’s got more volume than my entire Spotify playlist!”
2. “Did you stick your finger in an electrical socket or just get a perm?”
Best Use: When their curls are giving ‘shocked Pikachu’ vibes.
Not To Use: In formal settings or serious moments.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Looks like lightning found a new best friend.”
- “You’re giving static electricity chic.”
Example: “You look like a lightning bolt’s favorite customer.”
3. “Your hair is called—it wants its own weather forecast.”
Best Use: For those with truly majestic, cloud-like curls.
Not To Use: If the person is sensitive about frizz.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your curls are reaching new atmospheric levels.”
- “You’ve achieved cumulus perfection.”
Example: “That perm could block out the sun in three states.”
4. “Who needs Wi-Fi when you’ve got all those waves?”
Best Use: Perfect for playful banter.
Not To Use: During a professional or academic chat.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re basically a walking signal booster.”
- “Your curls are stronger than my connection.”
Example: “Forget 5G—I’m switching to your perm network.”
5. “You look like a poodle in witness protection.”
Best Use: For friends with humor as big as their curls.
Not To Use: On someone who might take it the wrong way.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re giving undercover dog show vibes.”
- “That perm’s got bark and bite.”
Example: “All you need is a leash and a runway.”
6. “Your perm looks like it could start its own disco.”
Best Use: Great for retro or party moments.
Not To Use: If they’re going for a modern sleek look.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Those curls are pure Saturday night energy.”
- “You’re one mirror ball away from fame.”
Example: “John Travolta called—he wants his curls back.”
7. “Your hair’s got more bounce than my motivation on Monday.”
Best Use: Friendly, funny, relatable.
Not To Use: If they’re having a bad day.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’ve got spring-loaded confidence.”
- “That perm could power a trampoline park.”
Example: “I swear your hair just winked at gravity.”
8. “You look like a shampoo commercial gone rogue.”
Best Use: To roast with admiration.
Not To Use: When they’re clearly having a bad hair day.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re the blooper reel version of hair perfection.”
- “That’s chaos with conditioner.”
Example: “Pantene couldn’t handle you.”
9. “Your curls look like they’re trying to escape your head.”
Best Use: When their perm’s a little… untamed.
Not To Use: If they’ve spent all morning styling.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your hair’s got a freedom agenda.”
- “Those curls are plotting something.”
Example: “Blink twice if your perm’s taking over.”
10. “You look like you slept in a cotton candy machine.”
Best Use: For playful roasting.
Not To Use: If their perm’s freshly done and they’re proud.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re serving sugar cloud realness.”
- “That hair’s sweet enough to eat.”
Example: “That’s one fluffy masterpiece.”
11. “Did your perm come with an instruction manual?”
Best Use: When their hair looks complex or elaborate.
Not To Use: On people new to perms.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your curls need a user guide.”
- “That hair’s got a mind of its own.”
Example: “So, is there a settings menu for that?”
12. “Your hair’s got more personality than most people.”
Best Use: Compliment-roast hybrid.
Not To Use: If you want a straightforward joke.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your perm should have its own TikTok account.”
- “Those curls are stealing your spotlight.”
Example: “You’re just the host—your perm’s the main event.”
13. “Looks like your hair joined a boy band from the 80s.”
Best Use: For nostalgic laughs.
Not To Use: If they don’t like old-school comparisons.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re giving lead singer vibes.”
- “Where’s the matching denim jacket?”
Example: “All you need is a keytar.”
14. “You look like a human loofah.”
Best Use: With friends who enjoy absurd humor.
Not To Use: If they’re sensitive about texture.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re exfoliating the atmosphere.”
- “That perm’s got scrubbing power.”
Example: “Bath time must fear you.”
15. “That perm looks sponsored by humidity.”
Best Use: When their hair expands dramatically.
Not To Use: During rainy-day insecurities.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re the ambassador of air moisture.”
- “Humidity bows to you.”
Example: “You’ve turned the weather into a hairstyle.”
16. “You look like you store secrets in those curls.”
Best Use: For soft humor.
Not To Use: If they’re not in the mood for teasing.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Those curls could hide a whole diary.”
- “That hair’s a mystery novel.”
Example: “What chapter are we on today?”
17. “Is your perm auditioning for its own Netflix series?”
Best Use: To roast a confident friend.
Not To Use: If they’re already nervous about their hair.
Other Ways To Say:
- “That hair’s giving main character energy.”
- “Your curls deserve royalties.”
Example: “Season one: The Rise of the Perm.”
18. “You look like the lovechild of a cloud and a power outlet.”
Best Use: For exaggerated, cartoonish fun.
Not To Use: On someone who might take offense.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re half sky, half electricity.”
- “Nature’s chaos made fashion.”
Example: “That’s one charged-up perm.”
19. “Your hair’s got more plot twists than a telenovela.”
Best Use: With dramatic curl patterns.
Not To Use: If they don’t get the joke.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your perm’s writing its own storyline.”
- “That’s soap opera hair right there.”
Example: “I can’t keep up with the episodes!”
20. “You’re one perm away from being a retro legend.”
Best Use: When you genuinely like the look.
Not To Use: When mocking retro style.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re the cover of every 80s magazine.”
- “That hair’s pure nostalgia.”
Example: “Madonna would totally approve.”
21. “Your perm’s giving lion king realness.”
Best Use: For big, proud, voluminous curls.
Not To Use: On smaller, subtle perms.
Other Ways To Say:
- “That mane is majestic.”
- “Hakuna your matata, Simba.”
Example: “You’ve entered your roar era.”
22. “You look like your hair has its own fan club.”
Best Use: When their perm genuinely slays.
Not To Use: If it’s a bad hair day.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your curls are celebrities.”
- “I want front-row seats to that bounce.”
Example: “Sign me up for the perm newsletter.”
23. “That perm could power an entire cheer squad.”
Best Use: For loud, proud energy.
Not To Use: If they’re shy.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re radiating pom-pom energy.”
- “Your curls are chanting your name.”
Example: “Give me a P! Give me an E! Give me a R-M!”
24. “You look like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.”
Best Use: When their curls look perfectly shaped.
Not To Use: If they dislike food comparisons.
Other Ways To Say:
- “You’re deliciously coiled.”
- “That’s pastry perfection.”
Example: “You’re making me crave brunch.”
25. “That perm’s got more layers than my emotional baggage.”
Best Use: When you want humor with a side of relatability.
Not To Use: If they don’t enjoy sarcasm.
Other Ways To Say:
- “Your hair’s deep, just like my therapy sessions.”
- “Those curls have a backstory.”
Example: “That’s a whole saga in your head.”
Conclusion
At the end of the day, roasting someone with a perm isn’t about mocking—it’s about celebrating personality through humor. The best roasts land softly, spark laughter, and build connection. Whether you’re teasing your best friend, sibling, or coworker, remember that good humor comes from care.
And hey—if they can rock a perm, they can handle a few curls of comedy too.
Editor’s Picks: 10 Funniest Perm Roasts
- “You look like your head lost a fight with a curling iron.”
- “Who needs Wi-Fi when you’ve got all those waves?”
- “You look like a poodle in witness protection.”
- “Your hair is called—it wants its own weather forecast.”
- “Your perm’s giving the lion king realness.”
- “That perm looks sponsored by humidity.”
- “You look like you slept in a cotton candy machine.”
- “Your hair’s got more plot twists than a telenovela.”
- “You’re one perm away from being a retro legend.”
- “That perm’s got more layers than my emotional baggage.”
