This guide brings you 30 funny, thoughtful, and clever responses to “Smash or Pass?” perfect for navigating flirty banter or hilarious group chats. We’ll also sprinkle in linguistic tips, conversational context, alternate expressions, and even a touch of real-world charm, so you’re not just memorizing lines, but actually learning how to communicate with warmth and wit.
When someone asks “Smash or pass?”It’s tempting to give a straight answer but turning the question into a playful moment can be way more fun. From personal experience, throwing in a bit of wit, humor, or even a witty refusal can totally shift the tone of the conversation.
Once during a party, instead of giving a typical romantic response, I blurted out, “I only smash avocados for guacamole,” and the entire room burst into laughs.
That funny twist quickly turned an awkward scenario into a wholesome banter session with friends. These responses help people avoid uncomfortable encounters and express themselves without triggering emotional issues or personal boundaries.
You can lean into your inner comedian and throw in quirky references like smashing watermelons like Gallagher, or say you’re too busy smashing your goals, or even just smashing the snooze button on your alarm clock. One of my favorites is, “Let’s smash some burgers and pass out on the couch instead.”
It’s playful, relatable, and adds a touch of everyday comfort. Think creatively smashing bubble wrap, passing piñatas full of candy, or even smashing the dance floor with your moves. Use whatever reflects your charm, talent, or personality.
Whether you’re too focused on singing your heart out in karaoke, smashing records, or just enjoying cake with forks, the key is to have fun with it. After all, humor is a powerful tool for self-awareness, avoidance, and handling these modern-day games with grace and a good dose of comedy.
1. “I’d rather smash some fries right now.”
Use it when: You’re not interested and want to pivot with humor.
Best use: In casual or friendly banter.
Not to use: When someone is being genuine and emotionally vulnerable.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smashing a nap sounds better.”
- “Let’s talk after I finish this pizza.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Pass. Unless we’re talking about fries then smash all day!”
Read More: Best Responses to “I Will Wait For You”
2. “Can I phone a friend first?”
Use it when: You want to delay or dodge with playful indecision.
Best use: In flirty friend circles or social media comment sections.
Not to use: In serious dating contexts.
Other ways to say it:
- “Let me consult my inner circle.”
- “Where’s my lifeline?”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“I need to consult the council. Be right back.”
3. “Smash… my alarm clock. I’m tired.”
Use it when: You’re completely uninterested, but want to stay funny.
Best use: When you’re not feeling the vibe but don’t want to offend.
Not to use: When the tone is clearly romantic and serious.
Other ways to say it:
- “I only smash bad habits these days.”
- “My therapist told me to pass on chaos.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smashing my to-do list is enough excitement for now.”
4. “Only if there’s pizza after.”
Use it when: You want to attach humor to your potential “yes.”
Best use: To tease someone you’re actually into.
Not to use: With someone who doesn’t get sarcasm.
Other ways to say it:
- “Only if snacks are involved.”
- “Throw in tacos and we’ll talk.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash but I expect pizza. I have standards.”
5. “Does your therapist know you’re asking this?”
Use it when: You want to humorously call out the awkwardness.
Best use: When the question comes out of nowhere.
Not to use: If someone is already insecure or shy.
Other ways to say it:
- “Bold of you to ask that without context.”
- “Your confidence is dangerously unregulated.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Wow. Did your therapist okay this move?”
6. “Only if you smash your ego first.”
Use it when: Someone’s acting too confident.
Best use: As a playful shade.
Not to use: When you’re not sure how someone will take sarcasm.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smash your expectations, maybe.”
- “Smash your mirror first, Narcissus.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash your ego, then we’ll chat.”
7. “I’ll need a PowerPoint presentation first.”
Use it when: You want evidence and receipts before deciding.
Best use: In group chats or DMs with someone funny.
Not to use: In dry or overly formal conversations.
Other ways to say it:
- “Show me the pros and cons.”
- “Can we do a full SWOT analysis?”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Send the PowerPoint. APA format, please.”
8. “I’d rather pass… gas.”
Use it when: You want to go full immature-funny.
Best use: With close friends or when being intentionally silly.
Not to use: On first dates or professional settings (obviously).
Other ways to say it:
- “That’s a hard pass and I mean hard.”
- “Pass. My stomach agrees.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Pass. And clear the room.”
9. “Only if it’s for the plot.”
Use it when: You’re in your chaotic storytelling era.
Best use: When being impulsive sounds fun (but only hypothetically).
Not to use: When you don’t want drama.
Other ways to say it:
- “For the vibes, maybe.”
- “Only if Netflix wants the rights.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash. For character development only.”
10. “Do I get insurance coverage with that?”
Use it when: You want to make it sound riskier than it is.
Best use: When you’re unsure or joking about consequences.
Not to use: When seriousness is expected.
Other ways to say it:
- “What’s the deductible?”
- “Is this OSHA approved?”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash with a waiver, please.”
11. “My lawyer advised me to say pass.”
Use it when: You want to be playfully dramatic.
Best use: In witty back-and-forth convos.
Not to use: When someone genuinely seeks affirmation.
Other ways to say it:
- “My PR team says this is risky.”
- “Let me get legal clearance first.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“My legal team suggests I pass. Don’t sue me.”
12. “Only if we skip to the credits.”
Use it when: You’re over the drama and want to keep it chill.
Best use: In casual chats with film/TV lovers.
Not to use: When someone’s taking the convo seriously.
Other ways to say it:
- “Let’s skip the plot twists.”
- “Fast forward to the good part?”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash, but only in the end credits montage.”
13. “Smash, but emotionally unavailable.”
Use it when: You’re being honest and hilarious.
Best use: For light-hearted flirting with a touch of realism.
Not to use: If you’re trying to establish something real.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smash, but I come with a side of baggage.”
- “Smash, but don’t catch feelings.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash but let’s keep it emotional… distant.”
14. “Hard pass, soft heart.”
Use it when: You want to decline sweetly.
Best use: With someone you care about but aren’t interested in that way.
Not to use: With people who don’t handle gentle humor well.
Other ways to say it:
- “You’re great, just not for me.”
- “All love, but it’s a no.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Soft spot for you… but it’s a pass.”
15. “Smash the patriarchy first.”
Use it when: You want to be funny and make a point.
Best use: With someone who enjoys activism-laced humor.
Not to use: In very formal or conservative circles.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smash systems, not hearts.”
- “Equality first, flirting second.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash after we dismantle oppressive structures.”
16. “I only smash expectations now.”
Use it when: You’re on a self-growth kick.
Best use: When flexing your confident, ambitious side.
Not to use: If you’re just trying to be flirty.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smashing goals > smashing people.”
- “Pass. I’m building an empire.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Pass. My current crush is personal development.”
17. “Smash or pass? I’ll swipe left on this convo.”
Use it when: You’re trying to dodge the question entirely.
Best use: When someone’s being repetitive or cheesy.
Not to use: When someone’s sincerely trying to connect.
Other ways to say it:
- “Can I block this question?”
- “Swipe left on awkward moments.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Left. Like, aggressively left.”
18. “Pass unless you’re bringing snacks.”
Use it when: You’re teasing them and leaving the door half-open.
Best use: Flirty, playful chats.
Not to use: In strictly platonic convos.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smash? Tempt me with food first.”
- “Only if snacks are part of the deal.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Snacks first. Smash maybe.”
19. “Only smashing if dogs are invited.”
Use it when: You’re obsessed with dogs (and who isn’t?).
Best use: With fellow animal lovers.
Not to use: In dry or very serious conversations.
Other ways to say it:
- “Dog access = smash access.”
- “Let’s get paws involved.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash… but only if your dog approves.”
20. “Let’s smash the system instead.”
Use it when: You want to blend humor and activism.
Best use: With politically aware or rebellious folks.
Not to use: If sarcasm might be misunderstood.
Other ways to say it:
- “Systems > hookups.”
- “Smash inequality, not people.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash the system, not my DMs.”
21. “Does smashing come with emotional support?”
Use it when: You want to call out the emotional side, playfully.
Best use: In emotionally-aware or introspective convos.
Not to use: If someone isn’t emotionally mature.
Other ways to say it:
- “Where’s the mental health package?”
- “Smash with a weighted blanket, please.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Only if there’s therapy included.”
22. “Smash if you’re also into taxes and trauma.”
Use it when: You’re being real about adulthood.
Best use: With someone who gets dark humor.
Not to use: With someone sensitive to sarcasm.
Other ways to say it:
- “Let’s trauma bond, then maybe smash.”
- “Taxes? Trauma? Turn-ons.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Only if we file taxes and cry together.”
23. “I’m on a smashing break again next season.”
Use it when: You want to hint that you’re not emotionally available.
Best use: With friends or exes you’re setting boundaries with.
Not to use: When trying to keep the connection open.
Other ways to say it:
- “I’m emotionally out of office.”
- “Smash break per doctor’s orders.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Seasonal pause. Try again in Q4.”
24. “Only if we do a background check.”
Use it when: You’re joking about needing security clearance.
Best use: With someone who’s a little mysterious.
Not to use: When that could be taken literally or seriously.
Other ways to say it:
- “Smash? First I run a vibe audit.”
- “Let’s see those references.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Depends. Got a clean record?”
25. “Smash… but only in Mario Kart.”
Use it when: You’re steering it into geeky, playful territory.
Best use: With gamers or fellow nostalgia-lovers.
Not to use: When someone clearly isn’t getting the gaming joke.
Other ways to say it:
- “Only smashing if Rainbow Road is involved.”
- “Smash Bros, not IRL.”
Example:
“Smash or pass?”
“Smash in Mario Kart. Let’s race.”
Conclusion: Your Humor is Your Power
Here’s the thing: in a world where casual questions like “Smash or Pass?” are thrown around like popcorn, your reply doesn’t have to be basic or bland. You can answer with humor, creativity, and even a touch of emotional intelligence because the real win is showing off your personality, not just giving a “yes” or “no.”
These 30 funny responses are more than just punchlines; they’re social tools that help you set boundaries, express yourself, and keep the vibes fun without crossing any lines. I’ve had my fair share of awkward “Smash or Pass?” moments some I laughed off, some I learned from. But the best moments? Those came from leaning into wit with warmth.
